Addressed To You
by deranged-insanity
Summary: Although cousins, Hinata's attraction for Neji is deep. Thus, she felt inferior and not worthy for him lowering her ego more. Good thing, Gaara is there to raise her hopes up and show that someone else loves her. Complete! Edited!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. But the poem was made by me to actually convey the message to the one whom I admire. XD

**Note:** Sorry, Hinata was a bit not close with her character in the actual story and I have used quite Hinata-Neji Incest. The setting was of during this modern time. I hope you all could bear with me, please.

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**Chapter 1**

The world is mainly made up of two kinds of people, the superior and the inferior. Most of the time, the superior got their heads high while the inferior ones just let their heads low. And really most of the time—always—the inferior admire the superior and when they do, the more they feel how inferior they are.

_My love, I do not ask you for anything in return_

_I wouldn't want to expect again for another reason_

_You are majestic, unattainable by my reach_

_A god of excellence as what my instincts preach_

Hinata was a high school student in Konoha High, just a typical teenager, a mediocre, doing just average in class. Neji, his cousin, was a year older than her, always at the top of his batch and was almost good at anything. They were related by blood and just living at the same house yet they seldom speak to each other meaning they are not close or acquainted with each other.

Despite their not being close, Hinata felt this certain admiration for his cousin for being talented and all.

It's hard for her, being always compared to Neji by his father. She was never good enough for him and it was true. She never excelled. She's simply good at anything but never _best _at anything. Not only was she being compared to Neji but also with her sister, Hanabi. Her life at home isn't perfect; her life in school isn't perfect for she is much less than being perfect.

Hinata reread the four-lined poem she wrote during math class. It took her a hard time sneaking to write those lines so as not to be caught by their math teacher. The poem isn't good enough, she knew. But at least, she was able to translate into a good piece of literature what her soul was dying to proclaim. She was infatuated with Neji, his cousin. The feeling was just infatuation, as what she strongly believes or makes her self believe, for love towards someone in the family is highly condemned by the society.

The bell rang, signaling all the students that it's finally dismissal time. Everyone got up hastily and rushed out of the classroom. She stood up from her chair and grabbed her backpack, the piece of paper where the poem was written still clutched in her hand. The room was almost empty when she went.

As she walked down the corridor, her friends, Gaara and Naruto, saw her and called her attention. She turned then halted for them to catch up. When the three of them were already walking together, Gaara saw the paper crumpled inside her hand.

"What's that?" He pointed at her hand. "May I see it?"

Hinata looked at her hand. She just then realized that the paper with the poem was still in her hands. "Oh, it's nothing." She right away tried to put it inside her bag when Naruto suddenly snatched it out of her hand.

"What's this, a poem?" He read the poem loudly. "_My love, I do not ask you for anything in return…"_

Hinata stood on tip toe and snatched the paper out of his hand. She quickly stuffed it inside her pocket then hurriedly walked away while feeling annoyed by Naruto's act. The two males quickly followed her. Naruto asked, "Hey, sorry for reading that too loud. Anyway, to who is that addressed?"

Gaara looked at him in a strange manner but remained silent. He knew to whom that poem was addressed.

"I-It's for no one in particular. I j-just made that because I am feeling too inferior again." She avoided their gazes and her mind wandered again. Her thoughts drifted away from the present, not wanting to face her friends' interrogations.

"Don't. Don't feel inferior, 'coz you're not." Gaara was the one who spoke, consoling his friend although he's aware that _that _was not the reason why she wrote that poem. "You're good at anything. You can do almost anything."

"Yeah, but I have not got any best skill which I could be proud of."

The two just fell silent and the rest of their walk as they go home remained the same. Both boys knew that there was no point arguing with Hinata in helping their friend lift up her self esteem. It had been an issue always and their conversations always end up in this manner. When Naruto said goodbye, Gaara and Hinata were left and a small talk passed between them.

"That was for Neji, right?"

Hinata looked at him, her face blushing deep red. "Yes."

Gaara knew her feelings for Neji. She could no longer contain her silence one day and spilled her emotions only to him, but not because he didn't trust Naruto. She thought that it would be safer to turn to her other best friend.

"Why do you feel that way for him?"

"I don't know… because he's my cousin and he's really great, maybe."

An awkward silence devoured both of them. No one really knew what to say. Not until, Gaara again spoke.

"I don't think it's good for you to heed that feeling."

"Why?" She looked up to him not knowing if it would be good or not to listen what is in her friend's mind. _And I am not heeding it._

"Because all it did to you was think less and lesser of your self." He paused and licked his lip for moisture. "I mean, when you started admiring his greatness and all, you just suddenly felt that you are inferior when actually you're not."

"What?" Hinata stopped walking and faced him, "Let's face it. I am inferior. I was never good enough for my father. I am a disgrace to our family." She started walking away again, Gaara still following her closely.

"May I read the poem?" He wanted to read the poem she's written and then say more things to convince his friend to see the brighter side of things. He concluded that the poem might be something again about her being inferior again to Neji and he, for like a millionth time, would do everything to prove her wrong.

Hinata hesitated. But then, Gaara knew all these things already. What's the matter if she shows him her poem? "Here." She handed her the paper and then started walking again. She was a bit ashamed of letting him read the poem for its shallow meaning and that she sucked in writing poems, in her opinion.

Gaara, while walking, read it and afterwards asked her another question. "What do you want to say in this poem?"

Hinata stopped and pondered for some time to find the right words to express her message behind it.

"That, he is truly a god of excellence, of pure talent—totally superior. I wouldn't expect for him to like me for first, we're tied by blood and that I am too low to reach his standards." She sighed. The pain of inferiority was again attacking her mercilessly. "And that, if ever, the day comes when he discovers my feeling for him, I won't ask him anything in return for all the things I've done for him."

After explaining this, Gaara felt silent and then told him that he needed to leave already. He returned to her the poem then left.

Hinata was alone now. Alone walking and alone to suppress her feeling for his cousin whenever their paths meet within the walls of their house. She sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note:** This chapter is a bit long and some kind of crappy and angst-y too… but please bear with me. I hope you enjoy reading this fic. Thank you very much.

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**Chapter 2**

Neji opened the door of his locker which revealed a bouquet of flowers, the sweet fragrance reaching his nostrils. This was the third time someone left a present inside his locker. He wondered who this person is as if taking pleasure in giving him gifts.

The first time this happened, he was really overjoyed by the sight of the present. He was really, really flattered and at the same time shy. How he anticipated to meet that person if only that person would be brave enough to face him.

He got the bouquet and smelled it with his eyes closed. Aaaahh… it smells like heaven.

* * *

Hinata smiled quietly in one corner, watching his dear cousin's expression of surprise, wonder and flattery. She almost laughed when her cousin brought the flowers to his nose and smell its fragrance with closed eyes. If he just knew how intense her feeling is for him… god, why does it had to be him—his very own cousin? No matter what she does, her feeling for him wouldn't vanish.

To satisfy herself, somehow make him pleased, and most of all let him know someone is strongly admiring him, she gave him gifts anonymously. And after putting her simple token inside Neji's locker, she hides in the corner, waits for him to arrive and watch for his expression. It was enough that she was able to express her deep longing, yearning and obsession to him though her heart suffers from fear of rejection. She was somehow contented of this stupid sinful _love._

Everytime she sees him smile and feel delighted, she drowns in happiness and her day was complete. But deep inside, the feeling of hopelessness still burns its flame never dying. The hope to be one with Neji is zero even if she disregards the reason of their being cousins, her inferiority was too great and would never suit him.

After watching Neji's positive reaction, she walked away still smiling to her self. She turned around the corner and saw Gaara. She stopped and started walking the other way. She wasn't mad at him; it's just that she was not in the right mood to talk to his friend right now. She bowed her head and walked rapidly, not noticing where her feet were directing her. Then she bumped on someone and was almost knocked down by the person she bumped into who turned out to be,

"_Neji!"_ Hinata burst out in alarm. Her face turned into a deep color of red, not expecting that she would be bumping right into him. "I'm s-sorry."

That time, as if the world stopped spinning. Her heart was beating furiously. Then, she became paranoid… she wondered whether he knew already that it was her, that she was the one giving those mysterious gifts, that she had this special feeling despite their being cousins… But her thoughts were proved somehow wrong.

Neji looked at him, his expression annoyed. He hissed, "Next time be careful." He gave him one final look.

Hinata bowed a little and apologized, "Yes… sorry… sorry…" _Whew. I thought he knew._ She sighed and took a step when,

"Good day, _**dear cousin**_." Neji added with a very slight smile. He then walked away, disappearing into the crowd of students ahead.

At that, Hinata's _paranoia_ came back and became even more intense than what she felt a while ago. What could be the meaning of that greeting?

_Of course, it's just a friendly cousin greeting, nothing else._

Oh come on, how come it's only now he greeted you that way? He doesn't even greet you though you live at the same house.

_No! He does not… he does not know that I am his secret admirer. That I am the one sending him those gifts and everything… god, this can't be! _

Of course, he knew, that's why he greeted you… I mean, teased you.

_No! No… no, no, no… shut up, okay?! I've got lots of things to think about other than this._

Before her other inner self could reply, she felt a gentle poke on her side and Gaara appeared in front of her, his face expressionless. She started to walk away after giving him a gentle look. But his hand gripped her arm to stop her from avoiding him, but it wasn't a firm grip.

"You've been avoiding me."

She looked at him and when finally their eyes met, he continued, "And how does it feel to be greeted by the one you like?"

She mildly brushed away his hand and started to walk away again but this time in a slower pace. "I-I'm not avoiding you."

Gaara followed closely behind her. "Yeah right, why did you turn away when you saw me going to your direction, if you are not avoiding me?"

"I j-just suddenly remembered an errand to do. T-that's just it."

"Why can't you look at me straight in the eye?"

They both stopped on their tracks and Gaara held once more her arm, this time a bit firmly as if threatening her. She still could not endure to look at him straight into the eye and so just bowed her head. The next thing, all she knew was that Gaara was leading her into an empty hallway to talk to her, to give her a lecture rather.

"What do you want to say? It's almost time." She gave up avoiding whatever Gaara would say to her. For she was sure that whatever her friend would be saying, it would certainly make her ponder a lot more yet it won't lead her to do anything. Thus Gaara's lecture will just be of no use. She hated this kind of topic for it gives her the awkward feeling. And so, she avoided all of these kinds of talking especially if it was from Gaara.

"I hate to see you like this, to be in pain." He sighed and leaned for a while his head on the wall. "You make him happy, and you're happy with what you are doing. But I know that deep inside you're suffering a lot more than how you felt happy by pleasing him because you knew that whatever you do, you will never be together."

Silence fell which means 'yes'. An awkward moment for both of them is this but something must be done to make Hinata open her eyes. Gaara couldn't bear his friend to be like this. If she just knew how it affected him much, if she just knew he loved him too. It pains him seeing that the one he loves got other else in her heart and it pains him more to see her suffering because of this other person she prefer.

"Yes, because we're cousins." Hinata's lower lip began to tremble a little but she managed not to cry in front of him. And if she did, his heart would really break.

"NO! I-I mean, that's one but…" His voice slightly raised. "Of course that isn't it. You feel too inferior, too low that you are already hurting your ego. And through a defense mechanism of brainwashing your self that you've got no chance on him coz you're too pathetic and too little for him, you lower down your ego and you suffer of something like an inferiority complex."

He paused then moistened his lips and looked at Hinata's reaction. The latter spoke defensively.

"Yes, YES, it's true! To disregard the fact that we're cousins, it's because he's too good. He's a god and I'm a slave. I wouldn't want to expect for all I knew it will never happen. And now I'm having my false expectations base on the way he receives my gifts. But everytime I contemplate and realize how apart we are, I-I knew I got no chance and so I bleed." She gave him one final look of anger and almost shrieked, "Now, are you satisfied with my answer?"

He sighed and answered her calmly, "Well, I'm here to prove wrong what you're saying. It's not good to feel that way with yourself. It hurts to expect and then later on see that it didn't come out the way you imagined it. And because of that, you're gonna say that how stupid of you to think that way now that your distance are way far apart and then you feel down of your self again. It's not good okay? It's not." He shook his head and still added.

"All I can say is, for you to get a direct answer, you need a direct action. You have to take the risks. I know you understand me. Okay? Never hurt yourself that way again. And if it really brought you too much pain than you can handle, **STOP** this thing immediately."

The other nodded and bowed down her head again. As they start to walk away and proceed to their designated rooms, they passed a classroom with two persons who both of them could barely recognize. But when one of the voices spoke, Gaara and Hinata stopped and listened to the two persons' conversation.

"I can't believe I received another gift again."

It was Neji!

The other retorted, a female voice, "You're so lucky you've got an admirer. Anyway, who do you think those anonymous gifts are from?"

The two listeners recognized the female voice belonging to Tenten, Neji's close friend. But with the statement left by Tenten, Hinata suddenly became tensed. Beads of sweat formed on her temples at the same time her heart beat thumped inside her chest furiously.

Neji spoke again, "I don't know. But anyway, those gifts really flatter me. I am pleased by whoever was that person's wish to give me those presents."

At this, Hinata's feelings somewhat rejoiced but not for so long when the speakers' conversation continued.

"What if that person would suddenly come to you and then ask you if you two could be together or some sort, what would you say? Like the gifts were of something like a first step for his real _agenda_."

"Hmmm… honestly, I am not taking these things too seriously. If that person would be doing what you've said, I will really thank him or her for even bothering to give me those presents but sorry… I will decline his or her offer."

"You're so harsh..."

After hearing the short talk, Hinata and Gaara stayed there at the spot for some time. Gaara was afraid that Hinata's legs might suddenly give in for he knew how strong the impact is to her Neji's cruel words.

It was an accident they heard them. Hinata would like to disappear and never comeback with what she has heard but she still got a class to attend and the bell rang signaling for them to hurry for their class.

It was the most silent, anxious and awkward walk for them. Nobody said any word to at least break the barrier of uneasiness between them until they had to separate ways into going on their different classes without even bidding goodbye to one another.

_It's going to be a long, hurtful day. _Hinata thought as she went inside her class room and took her seat. Her day is going to be long indeed.

Hinata found the poem she's written the day before and decided to add more lines on it to express what she felt at the moment. It was History class, this time.

_I dare not anymore plot another dream after another immaterialized scheme_

_My foolish futile plans are lame, devised by my diverted mechanism_

_Its pleasure brings me ecstasy, that I have shown my affection_

_At the same time realizing pain when I knew you give no consideration_

_You might feel glad and flattered, you smile and I drown in excessive rapture_

_--A brief temporary 'heaven' and then suffering comes after its departure_

It's such a long, painful day, indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:** This chapter is really short and really angst-y! Please tolerate its emo-ness… and don't forget to review! All opinions are highly encouraged for me to improve, okay…?!

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**Chapter 3**

It was one in the morning and Hinata was still wide awake, curled on her bed. She couldn't sleep; depression once again hugged her being. This day seemed to be the worst day of her life of what happened a while ago in school, in class and then at home.

**The first scenario: ****Overhearing Neji and Tenten's conversation.** What a good way of starting the day. Is there anything more dreadful than hearing the one you like say that you've got no chance on him whatever you do? That was the way she interpreted the scene which caused the start of her depression.

**Second scenario: ****History class.** She was caught by her teacher doing something, writing another thing rather. She was called to recite but she wasn't listening and so she failed to answer the question correctly. What more, the teacher humiliated and scolded her in front of everybody. What was worse was that she let her stand for a very long time until she got the right answer.

**Final scenario: ****Father's scolding again.** That night, she was called by her father to his study room with Neji and Hanabi. He told them that an upcoming family reunion will be hosted by their family. It was going to be a big event for their clan and he does not want anything shameful to happen during that event. He said that the three of them will be given certain tasks to help him organize the coming reunion. Upon hearing this, her hopes kind of raised up and that this will be the chance to prove them, Father, Hanabi and Neji, that she was good enough to be entrusted with tasks like this. But when the tasks were given out, she almost cried for the task given to her was just to go over with the guests list and make sure all people who were invited comes while the tasks given to Neji and Hanabi were stuffs like taking care of the venue, the food and the tokens. She wanted to take care of designing the invitations since she loves art and through this talent of hers, she knew that she would be able to come up with a good idea.

Not only did her day turned long and unbearable but her night as well. _Why is the world cruel to the weaklings?_ She added more lines to the poem she hasaas written the other day. It was getting to be quite her hobby, writing those lines. Not even the event that happened to her during History class could put a stop on her new found hobby. She read the new added stanza,

_But, my love, despite the pleasure, intimate infatuation and slight pain_

_You inflicted me a wound and so I bleed, my veins gradually drain_

_Your superiority is my inferiority; your excellence my mediocrity_

_I have tried deciphering the codes why I do not yield_

_To the calls and impulses of pain saying I should stop the lead_

After reading, she lay down the bed and stretched her limbs like what a cat does as soon as it wakes. After stretching, she rolled to the other side of the bed then hugged her pillow tightly. The events that happened previously that day came back to her vividly. The only clear thing that she could remember was her talk with Gaara.

"_All I can say is, for you to get a direct answer, you need a direct action. You have to take the risks. I know you understand me. Okay? Never hurt your self that way again. And if it really brought you too much pain than you can handle, STOP this thing immediately." _

These words spoken by him gave a deep impact in her mind.

_Take the risks…_ She wasn't brave enough to take the risks and possibilities: the risk of ruining their stoic cousin relationship, the risk of it reaching his father's knowledge, the very possibility of being ridiculed by Neji and most of all rejection.

_And if it really brought you too much pain than you can handle, STOP this thing immediately… _It really has brought her too much pain and she knew she should stop. But the feeling just wouldn't drop that easily.

Anyone on their right mind experiencing the pain of inferiority, pain of wrong expectations and feeling of absurdity, like what she was experiencing, would right away put a stop on their schemes but not her.

_Huh, it just means that I'm not on my right mind with this._

She closed her eyes tightly as she convinced her head to forget about Neji. _Forget him, forget him, FORGET HIM! _She opened her eyes and her gaze dropped accidentally into the picture frame of her family located on her study table. Her eyes resided into the image of the person whom she was trying to forget—Neji. How could she forget him if all the while they always meet and his greatness were being exposed to her? How could she forget him when it was his face that she would see as she lie and wake from sleep, when his voice he would hear?

She grabbed the picture frame and studied it for a while. It was taken some months ago. They were all in formal wear of kimono. At the front row, she and Hanabi were seated while standing behind them were her father and Neji.

She stared hard into his image as if drawing a hole on it just by mere looking. Then her gaze turned to her dad and then to Hanabi. At this, her hidden anger and anxiety began to stir wanting to explode. She dropped down the picture frame back to the table and in an instant, she was already crying while laying face down on her pillow.

"I hate you, Neji… I hate you, Father… I hate you, Hanabi… I HATE YOU ALL! You make my life miserable especially you Neji! You never cared for me while I would be willing to give up my soul for you if you wish." She paused and sobbed then afterwards added, "Why can't I just simply drop you off despite all the wounds you've given me?" She smiled bitterly. "Perhaps it's also because of me, I'm just simply a stupid disabled person."


	4. Chapter 4

**Note:** Updates, readers, updates! Thank you for reading up to this part of my fic! Thanks for the reviews! It really motivated me to write more. I love you all! By the way, Neji's gentler from this part of my fic, if one time you might wonder.

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**Chapter 4**

_But if I shall be acquiring confidence and guts to express_

_My obsession, emotions, and poems which to you I address_

_What would you feel for me? Would you feel the same thing?_

_Maybe somehow you shall feel a twinge of a touching feeling_

_But what I wouldn't let and make you feel is sympathy_

_So I do not ask anything for it just might indicate your pity_

Someone brought him a poem, another surprise coming from his locker. Neji concluded that all those gifts he previously received and this recent _gift_, the poem, came from a single person. He was so curious of his admirer.

Now, this mystery person seems to be already asking him for a response after all those gifts _it_ has given. _Hmm…_ he pondered. He remembered the short talk which passed between him and Tenten. He said that he would decline if ever that person suddenly asked him of something about being together as that person's real purpose, but the truth is… well, it depends.

_If only __you__ would introduce your self to me, find the guts to express your emotions, there might be an instance for me to love you back. _He reread the poem and focused on the fifth and sixth line. _Sympathy should not be given in exchange of love. Just tell me who you are and let's see if we could be friends. _

Wait! Is this really Hyuuga Neji, the apathetic top-ranker of their batch? Okay, so he wasn't actually that numb. The truth is that he is a person who keeps everything inside him hidden. Since his father died, he became sad and learned to just curb all emotions inside him thus he was withdrawn and cold to other people.

Going back to the poem, he hastily tore a single sheet from his notebook and wrote, '_Sympathy does not justify love. Gratitude is a better response. Kindly tell me who you are. You please me with your gifts. I would like to express my thanks.' _He folded it twice and taped it at the back of his locker's door. So that the next time that mystery person would put something there, _it _would be able to see and read his message.

Just then, the first bell rang and students could be seen running along the hallways so as not to be late for their first class. He wouldn't want to be late. And for the first time, he ran along with them.

* * *

That's it. She has given up one part of her poem to Neji himself. She, Hyuuga Hinata, finally expressed to his _beloved _cousin one question of acceptance and she was expecting for some kind of a reply. She badly hoped for it. It wouldn't hurt to try looking for a response, would it?

There could only be two answers. One, a negative answer: a reply telling her either to stop it already or that she won't get anything in return but with an inserted thank you. Second, a positive one: thanking her and just some nicer stuff to say. With these two options, her face dropped. The probability of getting the first reply was greater than getting the second one.

It was Biology Class. How she loathed science; she just simply wasn't made for science. The class was discussing about organisms in the kingdom Fungi. _Great._ It was **SO** boring. She was afraid she would die even before the next minute ticked. But wait, when that happens, she won't be able to know Neji's reply (if ever there was any).

"Homework for next week, bring a sample of molds…" The teacher was giving them instructions for next week's activity when her hand shot up in the air. "…don't forget you laboratory tools and--- yes, Ms. Hyuuga, would you like to say something?"

"Uh.. m-may I go t-to the washroom?"

The teacher gave her a stern look and retorted coldly, "You may go."

She went out and walked along the corridor. Her plan isn't really to go to the washroom but to sneak on Neji's locker to look for a reply. The lockers were near the washroom area at the end of the corridor. Classrooms were far enough so the chances of being caught are not that great. But there are still risks and so she simply has to move fast.

She made her paces fast until she reached the lockers area.

_Locker no. 17… 17… _She scanned the lockers. _14… 15… 16… __**17!**_ She opened the locker's door and quickly scanned the whole compartment. She was on the verge of being disappointed when she noticed a folded piece of paper was taped at the back of the door. She got it and started unfolding it.

_Cluck… cluck... cluck… _Her head moved towards the opposite direction and saw a teacher coming. Her hear beat furiously. She ran to the washroom and inserted hastily the letter inside her pocket. Then, she washed her hands, took a heavy breath and calmly went out of the washroom.

"Ms. Hyuuga, Biology Class is over, what took you so long?" It was her Biology teacher.

She blushed. "Uh… I-I am having my m-monthly period… sorry, miss."

The teacher just looked at her from head to toe making her blush even more. After that, the teacher already walked away and her next class would start immediately.

* * *

It was finally lunch break. Neji went to his locker to return and get some things. He opened the door. He noticed that the paper he taped there just earlier was gone.

_Does it mean that _that_ person has finally read it? _He turned his head to the right and then to the left looking for someone who might be acting kind of peculiar. If ever that person has just arrived only now, that person hasn't gone yet. To his left along the hallways, the only people there were just some male sophomores who haven't gone to eat lunch. If he wasn't mistaken, one guy's name there is Naruto who seem to lead the group's noise.

To his right side, at the end of the corridor was a wall and there were two persons staying over there. Those two persons was a red-haired emo guy named Gaara and his very own cousin, Hinata.

He noticed his cousin looking at him. He returned the look and there was an eye contact for a few moments. The contact was broken when Hinata looked down and started blushing furiously. As always, his dear cousin was ashamed of everything and this annoys him. Why does she have to be like that? Can't she have some more confidence and act normally? If only his cousin would stop being a push over, they could be friends.

He turned his focus on the things that he was getting from his locker when his glance rested on Gaara. That weird guy was looking at him in an odd manner as if loathing him. _Oh well, he's just a sophomore.  
_

Gaara looked at Neji straight in the eye. _Get lost! _He glanced at Hinata who was blushing furiously just all because of her eye contact with Neji.

He _**hates**_ Neji. He hated the fact that Hinata was obsessing on him. He hated it when Hinata feels lowly of herself because of Neji and so the sum of these things was his hatred for Neji.

He turned his attention again on Hinata. The lady was staring at Neji's back when the stupid guy has walked away. Gaara could not contain his self longer that he blurted out, "Why do you have to fall in love with him? He _is _your cousin."

She looked at him incredulously and answered, "It's not love, and it's just limerence."

"Well, it's worse than love because it is an obsession, a _bad _obsession."

Hinata faced him quizzically. He continued.

"Why do you keep on pushing your self to him? It even brought you too much damage on your personality and resulted to the fragmentation of your ego. Why don't you look around? There are _people_ who love you and you don't even have to push your self to _them_ because _they _accept people no matter who it is."

"And what do you mean by that? Tell me who _those _persons you are referring to?"

He wasn't able to answer her and remained silent for a while. _You're so numb, just the same with your cousin._ He just shook his head and walked out of their spot.

Hinata shook too her head in total confusion and followed him down to the cafeteria.

* * *

It was Friday. Neji arrived early that day. _Nothing._ He just wanted to get out of the Hyuuga house all at once for he dislike being around with Hiashi too long discussing about the long-awaited Hyuuga reunion.

Only few people were around, the hallways were as if deserted. He went to his locker and hanged out there for a while just looking at his things. He cleared his locker from all garbage. Just before closing the door, it was the only time when he noticed that a note was taped again on his locker's door. He got and read it.

_You're most welcome. You don't need to see me in person. _

_Your pleasure is an enough thank you for me. I've had my expectations. _

_I just feel inferior when you're around. I mean, you're simply great and talented._

_It pains me that we're not equal. _

_Still, I certainly admire you because of who you are._

After reading, he did not know how to react. He felt sorry for this person for feeling insecure and lowly. Guilt wasn't the feeling either. It's just that, he wondered why that person would feel inferior just because of him. He could not understand. Why would it go crazy over him when that person hasn't totally met him yet? Is it enough for that person to love him when it was just his 'perfect' side was being exposed to others?

As a reply to the note, he wrote:

_I just wanna ask… if it makes you feel sadness, how come you still proceed?_

_I have nothing against you and still, I would like to see you in person._

There, he believed that his note would be gotten quickly by that mystery person. _Instant messaging, _He taped his new note and closed the door of his locker. People were already coming and so he needed to go to his classes before the hallways become crowded. He walked away and proceeded to his classroom.

* * *

Dismissal time… _dismissal time… _Hinata hummed softly. She was the last time to get out of the entire third level of the building. The class assigned her to do the bulletin board and she was currently working on it with all her heart. She loves art and this is one way to show her talents.

_At least here in school, I'm able to show and utilize my talents. At home, I am so neglected. _She thought miserably. Before totally going out of the building, she passed by the lockers' area just to check if Neji hopefully has given a reply.

She arrived at the lockers' area and then opened Neji's space there. Her eyes instantly fell at the back of the door and saw a note taped there. She got it a little bit nervously and rushed in opening it. She read the note and knitted her eyebrows after reading the contents. How the hell is she going to answer his question? Didn't he realize that what he asked was certainly a matter-of-fact question?

Hinata folded neatly again the small note, neatly inserted it to her pocket and went home as silent as she could, contemplating.

* * *

**Note:** Dear readers, sorry for the random and too much events. hope you liked it though this chapter's kinda crappy. Have fun! 


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: **Wow! You've reached chapter 5 of my fic. Thanks for the reviews. You don't know how it really made me feel good.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Hinata was awakened by her sister's constant nudges. It was Saturday, and today her father scheduled it as a preparation day for their Hyuuga clan reunion. She almost overslept. If Hanabi hadn't waked her, she would be scolded again by her father.

She stood up, yawned and stretched her arms. _Ugh. _She was supposed to work only with the guests list but surprisingly, her father told her to take care of the invitations; she would be designing it. Somehow, her talent in art will be applied.

She walked towards her bedside table and rummaged the files of papers scattered. She was looking for the sketches she did last night for the invitation. While tossing around some crumpled papers to the trash can, she came across with the draft of the new verse she had written as a reply to Neji's letter. She composed another verse as she was doing the sketches which didn't turn out that bad. This poem-writing has become quite of her hobby already. Beneath the draft was the finalized written verse along Neji's letter. She got some papers and placed it over the draft with the poem and the letter, and then bringing on top of the file the sketches. After that, she went to the bathroom and freshen her self to face whatever awaits her.

* * *

Neji was told by his uncle to check whether everything was already settled. He has checked almost everything and the only thing he hasn't checked yet was the guests list and the invitations which were being taken care by Hinata.

He was the one who proposed to Hiashi to let Hinata do the design for the invitations. He was quite aware of his cousin's passion in art and he just wanted to help her utilize her skills.

Hinata was seated in front of the computer working with Photoshop in doing the designs. Her father approved the designs she proposed and even said that he was impressed by her work. She was glad she heard these words from him and it motivated her to really do her best in this task. These moments with her father were definitely one of a kind and really rare, almost _extinct_.

Neji approached his cousin. He was going to get from her the guests list to recheck if everyone in the Hyuuga clan was invited.

"Hinata,"

The girl looked at her and suddenly blushed. This, he can not understand. Why does she have to blush every time _someone's _going to approach her?

"Do you have another copy of the guests list? I am going to recheck it and double sure the invited persons."

She turned back her attention to the computer and pretended to work. He can say she was only pretending because she wasn't working with the mouse the same way she was doing it a while ago. Nonetheless, she answered him.

"It's upstairs. You may go inside my room and find it." He was about to climb the staircase when she added, "It's stacked with the _other_ papers on top of my bedside table."

He climbed upstairs and went inside Hinata's room. The room was neat except for the bedside table where lots of papers were piled. He fumbled for the list and came across with the girl's sketches for the design in the invitation. _Wow. Her works are great. _He was astonished of the fact that his cousin did all these sketches. He didn't know she was this great.

He still fumbled for the guests list until he saw a paper which seemed to be a draft of something.

_Could this be the list?_ He got the paper and read its contents. The draft certainly wasn't a draft of the guests list but rather a draft of a poem. There were lots of erasures, corrections and other stuffs in the draft making it difficult to understand. He looked further and then came across of a neatly written verse of a poem and another paper which looked _very _familiar to him. He was going to read what's written in the very familiar paper when a thought suddenly struck his head.

_Hang on! Could she be the…? _He shook his head forcefully. _I can't believe it! I just don't believe it! _

He made up his mind and read the letter. That's it. He finally confirmed who was behind all those mysterious stuff. He really can't believe it. If she wasn't that person, how come she had the letter he has written meant for that mystery one? He grabbed the other paper and began reading its contents.

"_Ironic it is though I am bleeding in this manner_

_I enjoy this pain like a sedative, as what my instincts utter_

_I can't let go of this obsession nor can I suddenly halt_

_A passion killing me softly in mixed delight and ache never to part"_

After reading, he shuffled further until he came across of another paper, still dumbstruck of his discovery. This time, it is the paper where the whole poem was written. He read and reached the last verse which was the mysterious-but-already-revealed person had previously sent him.

* * *

Hinata still haven't recovered with her blushing. _He approached me and even talked to me. Oh my god!_

She began working again with a neat smile plastered on her lips. But all at once, she stopped working and clamped a hand over her mouth in shock.

She just realized that _Neji_ was currently upstairs inside her room looking for the guests list stacked with her _other _papers on top of her bedside table. "Oh, no! The letter and the poem…" She stood up abruptly almost knocking down the swivel chair she was sitting on. Hinata ran to the staircase and climbed the steps two at a time in her hurry to try keeping Neji away from a "_revelation". _She finally reached the door to her room and opened it.

"NEJI!" She nearly shrieked. She found her reading _her _papers specifically the letter which came from him and the poem. She walked to his direction and tried grabbing away the _confidential _letters he was reading. But Neji hid it behind his back and confronted her.

"What is the meaning of this?" He held the papers in front of her. His expression was unexplainable and was somewhat incomprehensible. Was he mad? She couldn't say although shock is evident in his face.

"Uh… I… it's just a poem. It's just an insignificant poem." She dared not look at his eyes and her voice was pleading. "Please, give it back to me."

Neji ignored him. "So… _so, _it was you? Are you the one leaving presents inside my locker?"

Hinata bowed down her head as tears began to swell in her eyes. She couldn't answer him. It's the truth but she couldn't admit it to him face-to-face. The thing she dreaded to happen has now occurred. Tears then started to flow. Are these tears of embarrassment, of shame? Or fear?

"_Answer_ me!"

"…y-yes…"

She sobbed silently while a heavy sigh escaped from his lips. He spoke, "Why? You are my cousin. How did this thing happen?"

Hinata, for a moment, has become mute. She shrugged helplessly. _Why can't you just go away? Isn't it obvious that it was me? Do you really love making me feel helpless and stupid? Please… just GO away!_

"I can't believe it. Why didn't you tell me?" It was too late when he realized what he has said. _Shit. What did I just say?_

"Are you crazy?" Hinata blurted out. "How could someone as foolish as me reveal it to that actual person whom I knew does not even take a second glance at me?"

Neji was taken aback by her words. This is the first time he saw her as overwhelmed as this. He did not know what to say. How could he respond when the issue is centered on him?

"I-I thought…" His voice trailed off. What was he going to say, he did not know. Now, his thoughts were in disarray. Why did his head suddenly felt like it was in a state of confusion? Her words somewhat gave an impact to him. He changed his statement, "Uh, why? Why this… why me? If your feelings have brought you too much anguish and inferiority, why still proceed? "

Migod. Can't he understand? Haven't he experienced being obsessed yet? These questions are being asked only by fools and apathetic beings. "It's inevitable. I am dying to let go of you. But the more I force my self to stop this thing, the more my feelings become intense." She paused, he breathed deeply.

He was lost for words but she still added, "We're tied by blood. You're superior, while I suck. Do you think I've got a chance? Would you cast me a second glance?"

_If you only had the guts, our relationship might have been better. _Words were not enough to express his intertwining thoughts inside his brain.

Hinata bowed down again after telling all these words. She actually said those words? Somehow, her emotions lightened after her outburst. But she still felt embarrassed. She muttered, "I-I'm sorry."

He looked at her and came near her. "You did nothing wrong." He clutched her hand and gave her the letter and the poem. "It just feels a little bit…awkward. I'm sorry too… for bringing you all these hardships."

This time it was she who said, "It's not your fault."

She still could not endure to look at him straight in the eye and she can't determine how close their distance was. All she was aware of is that he was so near to her. _Very _near.

He did not anymore know what to do and so he went back to the bedside table and rummaged once more her papers looking for the guests list. Hinata, on the other hand, just let him do whatever he wanted and did not move an inch from the spot where she stood. Just a little while later he said, "I've found the guests list."

Neji started to leave but before totally doing so, stopped beside her and did the most surprising and unforgettable thing Hinata could imagine.

"Good day, _**dear cousin.**_" He spoke of these same familiar words which he has uttered to her some days ago.

Hinata was stunned, not expecting to still hear him say pleasant words. Stunned as she already was, she was completely stunned when Neji gently neared his face to her and planted a small kiss on her delicate lips. She felt his lip touching her own. It sent her a fleeting moment of shock and disbelief. Right then and there, one of her fantasies has come to reality.

When the small kiss was already planted and he has gone away, that was the only time she realized what happened and expressed what was her mind's reaction: ecstasy.

She remained there caressing for a few seconds her lips and at the same time feeling mixed emotions. The real meaning of his kiss, she did not know. What matters is that this got to be one unforgettable moment of her life.

* * *

**Random Note:** Mwaahahahah... I was with my crush a while ago. We had a bonding. Sigh. I would like to ask for another round. Haha. I just feel like sharing it to you guys. Anyway, this fic... uh, no, the _poem_, i mean, is actually _'addressed to her'_. But she inspired me to write this. :D **That's all.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Yay! Finally, Chapter 6 of 'Addressed'! Sorry for the very late updates. I've been busy with school work. I'm starting to neglect my studies and I needed time to work hard. Thank you for the reviews. I love it! _Sobra! _Anyway, just an overview, this chapter would be all about 'kisses'. That's all.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

It was the first day of the week. Remnants of laziness and boredom still linger among the moods of the people. Students were huddling and talking with one another of what happened to them during the weekends, undone assignments or simply talking of funny nonsense. One group there consisted of two boys, a blonde and a redhead, and a girl with short indigo hair. These were Naruto, Gaara and Hinata.

It was a very cheerful morning for Hinata. She was talking with Naruto and they were having a very good time. He was joking, kidding around and although corny, Hinata was there laughing all the time. Gaara, on the other hand, did not find or never found Naruto's jokes humorous. He was glowering at the two people there who were enjoying their small talk.

Naruto turned his next joke to Gaara. "Why do gorillas have big nostrils?"

"What." His reply was a statement, not a question.

"I said why do gorillas have big nostrils?"

"Whatever."

Hinata giggled then asked, "So, what?"

"…Because they got big fingers!"

And both blonde and indigo-hair laughed there madly. Naruto was pounding his fists unto the table and couldn't get over his _'funny_' joke. He seemed to run out of breath, almost choking. It was similar with Hinata who was laughing her head off. The girl was so cheerful that morning and Gaara was happy to see it. He was wondering of the girl's cheerful mood. Well, she wasn't depressed then but she wasn't as happy as this during their last meeting. He was so curious of her source of happiness so he asked,

"Hinata, why are you so happy today?"

The girl looked at him and then blushed but didn't answer. Naruto spoke in her behalf but obviously without her consent.

"Maybe it was because of her love life."

Gaara frowned. Naruto didn't know anything about Hinata's feelings for Neji and was too numb to even notice it. Funny how the question affected him very much but he remained cool about it and so he rode on.

"Naruto, what do you think could make a girl very happy of her love life?"

The blonde boy smirked looking as innocent as ever but the amount of knowledge he knew about the _world _wasn't as innocent as he looked like. He answered him, "What else but receiving a kiss?"

At this, Hinata suddenly blushed deeply. Naruto took advantage of this and started teasing her. "No! NO! Uh, I-I of course not! I've got no love life and there's no guy that I have kissed." But the more she became defensive, the more her face color reveals that she was lying. She looked at Gaara hoping to save her from Naruto's teasing. However, the expression of Gaara's face was something she did not expect. His lips were curled firmly, his eyebrows were knitted and a sharp dagger look was readable in his eyes.

"Gaara…"

Gaara stood up and walked away. She followed him and grabbed his arm. "Is there something wrong? What's the matter?"

He glowered at her and spoke angrily, "Did you kiss?" He knew the girl very well that he could identify whether the girl was lying or not. And by her expression a while ago during Naruto's teasing, it revealed him what he never wanted to know, of what he refused to know.

"What? I-I…"

"I said, DID YOU KISS?" He burst, some people have looked at their direction but turned away quickly too. "Did he kiss you, or you kissed him?" He was angry… furious. He could not believe that Hinata and Neji kissed. But whatever type of kiss was that, he still could not accept that ugly fact. _How dirty._ This is incest. Plus, he could not believe the possibility that Hinata might be lost from him forever because of this _tragedy_.

Hinata dropped her gaze to the floor and remained silent. How could she admit to him what happened? He wasn't in favor of her feelings for Neji and he might be mad if she tells him the truth. In fact, he was already mad and he still did not know what really happened.

"**Speak.**" He commanded sounding in authority. This tone couldn't be resisted by Hinata.

"Yes," She replied shortly still looking at the ground. _What now? _She could smell their friendship in a dangerous disposition. Although the reason of his being mad is shallow, it was still a big factor which she couldn't fully understand why.

His voice trembled in fury and disbelief. "I can't believe you. It's not right, it's dirty, and it's _incest. _Despite all the things I've told you that it would do you no good, you still…" He wasn't able to carry on what he was saying, balled his fists tightly and walked out.

Hinata, aware that Gaara was gone, followed him closely. She grabbed his arm but this time, instead of stopping, he pushed Hinata away and proceeded. She watched him go away. She realized that she has ruined their friendship. She lost her friend, her trusted.

She can't do anything or say anything to cover things up because what happened, as what she has interpreted, got a meaning beyond what is natural or moral. She felt something _different _with that small kiss. It was as if it got a deep meaning why it happened.

She followed him with her eyes as the bell rang signaling that classes would soon start.

* * *

That night, dinner time, she lost her appetite and went to bed early. She was sad, so sad of what happened between her and Gaara. She lay down her bed pondering of the events that have happened: first, the surprising incident last Saturday and now her friendship dilemma with Gaara. Events happened truly fast. Her contemplation and sadness induced some tears from her eyes. She can't believe it.

Before anything else, she decided to call Gaara and talk to him. She went to the phone nearest her and picked up the receiver. The phone was just an extension of the telephone in the den. The other persons sharing with that telephone were Neji and Hanabi. She placed the receiver beside her ear just in time when somebody else has been using it.

"Tenten," Neji's voice spoke. Her heart skipped a bit but she didn't remove the receiver from her ear.

"_Neji, I love you…" _

"**HUH?**" She exclaimed then dropped the receiver back and stared hard at it. She was shocked of what she heard. It was Tenten saying 'I love you' to Neji. _What was that? Did I hear it right?_

_What? _She can't believe it. Are they in a relationship? If they are, it just means that Neji was just playing around with her. She cried a little. So, he wasn't sincere and was just making a fool of her. How stupid of her to somehow expect from him. How idiotic… how pathetic.

She thought of that stupid kiss and then Gaara… she was so happy of that stupid kiss that her friend noticed and then discovered it. He wasn't in favor of his feelings for Neji that's why he reacted violently when he found out that they kissed. But that kiss was the most pathetic kiss that anyone could receive and the most nonsense thing that could break two people's friendship. Gaara was mad at her just because of that damn thing, she remembered and started crying.

Just as she was crying, the door suddenly opened and Neji entered with his face reddish marked with irritation and worry.

"Did you hear what Tenten said?" He demanded.

Hinata looked away from him so as not to show him her tears. "Y-yes… uh, I mean, no," She wiped away some of her tears by making it look like she was wiping sweat from her forehead.

Neji went near her and took a glance of her face. "Did you---wait, are you crying?"

She looked away from him, "No." She heard him sigh.

"What have you heard?"

"Nothing."

Neji slammed her bedside table. "You heard it, right? You heard what Tenten said. And now, you are crying. Why? Was it because of that?"

This time, she looked at him straightly and firmly retorted, "**NO.**"

But he continued on, "Are you jealous? Do you think I'm that serious with you? If you're jealous you'd better not heed your feelings for me."

"LISTEN TO ME. Listen, I was crying because of Gaara. My intention is to call him but—"

It was unexplainable why Neji's expression turned cold and hostile suddenly. He mocked her, "Why? You broke up with him? Well then, call him! **Now!**"

Neji exited, leaving her alone. She can't comprehend or decipher these two guys who mattered to her greatly.

Gaara, so mad about the stupid kiss, his friend and most valued person.

Neji, his _'fatal_' obsession and cousin, mad too because of an unknown clear reason. But what he said has cast a very clear line in her head.

"_If you're jealous you'd better not heed your feelings for me."_

She can't ignore it, the same as her thoughts with Gaara which also never left her head.

Her too much thinking prompted her to do something she has familiarized her self with just these days ago. She sat down in front of her desk, got some paper and a pen then wrote another stanza. She spent her time doing just that either seated or lying down her bed. After some time of composing, she came up with another verse.

_Insane I might be, unable to suppress this lunacy_

_You whom I blame, I couldn't resist your beauty_

_Sadly, my love for you is a tragedy_

_Yet still I stalk you quite hopefully_

_Just please let me proceed to enjoy the false belief it is gonna be_

* * *

Oh yes, dear reader, I've decided to add another chapter. This is a transition-chapter, gets? The last chapter would be chapter 7. Forgive me if this chapter bored you, there seemed to be something lacking here. But I hope that you still liked the flow of events.

Supposedly, this is tragedy. But then… I have decided to change the plot of this fic and hopefully you, guys, would like what I've done with this. Thanks for the reviews! **I love you all!!**

And were you able to get the joke? I hope so although it was really, really corny!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Author's Note: **At last, folks, Chapter 7! Ha-ha! Thank you, thank you, for reading my story. Thank you, THANK YOU! And just a little overview, there would be some kind of a revelation in Neji's part here and a discussion between him and Hinata. Sorry for the sudden shift of POVs. This is gonna be a looong chapter. Please enjoy! XD

* * *

Friday, is one miserable day for Hinata. Since Monday, Gaara haven't talked to her and it kills her. It felt sad and bitter that you have a friend who's mad at you. It felt sad and bitter that you've got no one to talk to. It felt sad and bitter that you don't know for certain how long this separation would happen. And lastly, it felt sad and bitter that you lost your good friendship with a best friend over a stupid reason.

She wasn't mad at Neji, especially at Gaara. She was mad at herself for all the things that were happening to her. She was mad of the way things have turned out because of her decisions and preferences. As a final move, she posted the last stanza of her poem at Neji's locker. It was something like a farewell yet she have to admit that her special feelings for him weren't gone yet. There still was the burning desire, hope and the most painful of all, expectation. Why can't she learn? Why do same things happen?

Haven't she learned at all? That once you expected for something, you fantasize with hope and yearning.

The tendency is to look forward to it, once she have expected. But no one could escape reality until realizing how foolish it is to expect for that stupid fantasy to happen. How ridiculous of her to consider the fact of them ending up happily disregarding the boundaries—that they were cousins and secondly, his superiority and her inferiority. It's such a painful emotion of being embarrassed at her ego for ever having that way of thinking and behavior, trying hard to suit perfectly before his eyes. Hinata perfectly felt it a million times with Neji. Yet, no matter what she does, she knew nothing would work and that she was just making a false belief of the matter.

It was finally dismissal time and she needed to come home early. Tonight, the Hyuuga clan Reunion will be held. Her father instructed them to come home early to have sufficient time to prepare. She arrived at the school gates when one familiar man, a servant of their family, was there to meet her. Their limousine was parked outside. It was strange since the limousine was only for private, business use only.

"Ms. Hinata, your father wanted you to come home early and on time. He wanted you to be fetched."

She frowned questioningly. "What about Hanabi and Neji, are you also supposed to fetch them?"

The servant, still expressionless, retorted in a stoic manner, "Ms. Hanabi was already fetched and already at home while Mr. Neji is already waiting for you inside the limousine, Ms. Hinata."

She nodded as the servant led her to the limousine. He opened the door and let his mistress enter the vehicle.

Hinata sat down beside Neji who was looking sober there on his seat. She wondered if his waiting for her made him like that and she began to worry about it. She remained on her seat with bowed head and quiet as ever.

* * *

Neji was somewhat irritated that Hiashi wanted them to be fetched by the limousine. It sure did grabbed attention from some people. It intrigued them with stuff he didn't know why. _It was just a limousine._

He entered the limo and waited for the other _passenger. _

After some time, he felt the door of the limousine open as the cool breeze coming outside somewhat gently caressed his skin. Then, he felt _her _presence, and the door closed with a thud. His heart leapt in a reason he didn't know or refused to know just as his mood turned serious and awkward. He can't face _her. _No, he can't, after the way he behaved towards her last Monday. It was so absurd. He, Hyuuga Neji, felt for once that he was jealous.

He was a bit certain that Hinata was not able to comprehend his behavior of suddenly going a bit _extreme_ over her friend, Gaara. _Hmm… _

His thoughts halted when he felt the vehicle ran and the lingering sensation that he was just inches away from Hinata. He watched her at the corner of his eye; she gave a glimpse at him. He smiled at himself secretly still unsure why Hinata's special attention to him was giving him this certain feeling of, uh… insert appropriate word here describing this good feeling he had for her just after that revelation day.

Okay, _that _revelation day… _that _day when she revealed to him her real emotions, _that _day when he kissed her. Then, it was followed by _that _day when she overheard his phone conversation with Tenten.

Tenten…

Tenten, his _almost_ best friend, confessed to him her real feelings. He just can't accept it. It would be his preference that they would stay friends and nothing more than it. He was quite shocked when he heard her saying those three words which he couldn't return. _Darn. _All these things were making him somewhat emotional already. But he has to be honest and this is the truth:

He, Hyuuga Neji, was starting to harbor some kind of special feelings for Hinata after that revelation event. He was badly intrigued by that mysterious gift giver and has fallen grateful for those presents. It wasn't true that he would seriously decline to that mysterious person. The truth, as he was thinking, was that he could give consideration if he wants to and yes, he _wanted _to. Then came the day when he finally discovered her.

Hyuuga Hinata, his cousin, what were they? No more than cousins with simple "talking relationship". He was shocked—shocked that she was that mysterious person, that she has obsession over him despite their blood bond.

He remembered their confrontation, that revelation day when she professed in front of him officially that it was her who gave him those gifts. He knew her but not that personally. At any rate, he could read those pale eyes painted with pure goodness, understanding and concern for everyone. But those pale gentle eyes were also marked with loneliness and frailty. They were just the same. The only difference was his façade, that strong wall masking his real personality. Since his father's death and his decision to shun any emotion which might indicate his weakness, he decided to cover into pretense.

But his pretension is currently struggling to stay put, it wanted to give up. No matter how he wanted it to remain, he knew it wouldn't last long any longer. Therefore, he was waiting for someone who would understand him. The one who possessed the caring heart and eyes full of passion with pure goodness, understanding and concern. One who he knew would be able to destroy the wall shunning him from reality. And he has found those characteristics by the person embodied by Hinata.

* * *

It was evening, in a high class villa with a mansion, swimming pool and luxurious greenhouse (with fountain) as an 'alternative' for a cottage, pond and mini park. People of different ages yet with same pale pearly eyes are gathered in this particular place. People talking of what has become of their lives since they have last met each other.

At the center table, the family host was seated there. The head of the main branch, Hyuuga Hiashi was at the main seat. Just then, he cleared his throat which quieted the entire clan for his major speech.

"I dearly welcome you all Hyuuga, for our once in a five-year clan reunion. May you all enjoy this one special night with all the members of our clan." He paused dramatically and glanced at his children. "But the success of this night won't be a complete success without the special help from my two daughters and nephew." He paused again and hissed at them at the corners of his mouth, _"Stand up." _

The three children stood up rather hesitantly, two (the eldest and the elder) which have fake smiles at the crowd. Hiashi continued, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you my two _bright_ daughters, Hinata and Hanabi." Hinata winced at the word _bright_ mentioned by his father. "I also present to you my nephew, the son of my departed brother, Neji." After this, the crowd applauded and finally the three of them sat down at their seats.

Hiashi's speech went some more. And when it was done, everybody went back to their business socializing with one another. The family host, only Hiashi rather, seemed to be pleased with how the reunion was going.

The party was getting boring for Hinata and Neji. They sat there like aliens observing the way how people live, chitchatting with the rest of the human civilization. It wasn't long when Hiashi instructed them into something which made being _aliens_ better. "Hanabi, Hinata and Neji, socialize with our clan." To lead them, he straightened his formal coat and stood up. With this, there was nothing that could make the three disobey his order. They stood up and went away separately either hoping to escape or find people which they could be comfortable with.

Hanabi was able to find girls of her age and was currently happily chatting with them. Neji on the other hand was talking with a group of older people and by the looks of his face, it wasn't a good conversation. Hinata, the shy and quiet heiress, was feeling awkward with the rest of the _society. _She wasn't made for this kind of events. She was the listener of the crowd, goes with the flow, smiles at people and then sits in one corner. She was a boring company and to socialize with the _society _is _suicide_.

Alas, her looking for people who would accept her boring company seemed to be futile and so she went out at the greenhouse. The greenhouse was decorated with lots of bright lights making it appear like a dream garden. It was the perfect place for people who wanted to have moments of silence and time to think things over. But before going to such state, she observed how beautiful the place was decorated. She observed how the fountain showered the place with water reflecting a very faint rainbow illuminated by lots of bright lights in the surroundings. It would be a very good object for her next painting, she noted inside her brain.

After having a quite enough observation, she walked towards the fountain and laid down her hand over the flowing water from the fountain. She let the water run down her hand and feel its coldness numbing it. She stared at it thinking nothing; she just stared at it blankly. Then, she lifted her head only to see a silhouette of a person sitting at the bench not far from the fountain, the spot where she was standing. It was a silhouette of a long black-haired person she was very familiar of, that deep-natured soul whose features she have memorized. It was no more than Neji.

Hinata's mind battled whether to approach him or not. Her only options were either to go back at the party feeling alien looking for a company who would tolerate her listening skills or to spend that remaining time with Neji although it felt awkward and weird. It was not that hard decision since she favors the second option. Making up her mind, she walked towards him.

* * *

Neji disliked staying inside the on going party/reunion especially those who kept on asking him about his father. How insensitive of them. It wasn't because he hasn't moved on yet but since then, he tried avoiding the subject that's why it felt irritating when people question him about his father. He could no longer bear some of their questions that after answering some of them, he excused himself and went outside. He felt peaceful being alone, a time of contemplation.

He stayed at the bench not far from the fountain in the greenhouse and enjoyed his sentimental moments. It wasn't very long when at the corner of his eye, he saw Hinata near the fountain enjoying the dreamy sight made by the bright colorful lights which decorated the area. He saw that innocent child-like look in her eyes with her mouth slightly open breathing some remarks of amazement. He smiled genuinely for the first time that night, not that feigned grin he exhibited to the entire clan a while ago when Hiashi presented them to the crowd. She was so charming in that pose. How young and innocent. Yet, innocent she was, he knew how delicate and frail her dolly features were which needed cautious handling. At those thoughts he bowed his head but once in a while watched for his cousin's moves. When he sensed that she was coming near him, he pretended not to notice her and let her sit beside him.

Hinata sat beside him and remained silent for a while. She looked at her nails while formulating an interesting line to introduce a talk. But her thoughts were disregarded when her lips blurted out, "How come you aren't partying inside? I saw you talking with some of the visitors."

He snorted lightly and wrinkled his nose. He answered her, "They kept on asking me about Father, and I hate it."

"_Oh,"_ was just her tiny response and there ended the conversation Hinata attempted to keep. She was quieted by his response interpreting it as a sign that he did not want any long chats at the moment. He needed space, she thought and so she decided to go away from him but later on.

Neji thought that her silence was because of his rough answer so he tried to continue their little _talk. _

"What about you, how come you're here instead of partying with Hanabi's company?" He lifted his head and looked at her.

His sudden attention gave her cheeks a tinge of red. She smiled weakly at his question. "I found no one who could tolerate my boring nature."

He raised his eyebrows. "Your boring nature? How come you are seated next to me, does it mean that I can tolerate your boring nature?" _Why do you have to be too hard on your self? _He frowned at his thought.

Hinata was taken aback. What does his question mean? Was it an insult, a joke or something which meant to make her feel better? She could not understand him. Why can't he be nice to her, 'straight' nice to her for one moment? She did not utter any answer nor showed any expression.

"I mean to say, you are not boring." He moistened his lips and looked at her eyes quite intently. "By my statement I'm telling you that I tolerate no nonsense so if you are seated next to me right now and we're having a little chat, then I'm not bored with your company." _In fact I needed one right now especially the one given by you. _

She smiled a little and then stared again at the surroundings. Her lips formed a slight smile in awe and seemed to forget for once that Neji was next to her. Upon stepping back to reality, she reddened a little then avoided his gaze.

_Cute. _He thought when his cousin displayed that innocent pose again. He let her absorb the atmosphere of the beautiful environment and silence engulfed the space between them.

Neji broke the stillness of _their_ night, "The poem…"

Hinata's eyes widened and this time, really avoided his gaze. She can't speak but forced her mouth to.

"W-what poem?"

"That last stanza you posted inside my locker." _There._ He brought it. He finally brought the subject he wanted to discuss once he had received it. The poem was some sort of a farewell… but he did not want to go yet.

"Ah, _that_…" How could she explain to him? Couldn't he understand that she was trying to avoid him after that incident with Gaara and Tenten? Was her poem hard to comprehend or Neji wanted _something else_ to happen? "Uh, I… um… that phone call you had with Tenten…, and _Gaara,_" She stopped. That would be it for now.

"Listen," Neji faced her and angled his body towards her for full attention. "Tenten and I, we have nothing… there is nothing between us." He stroked his silky hair. "She expressed her feelings for me which I can't return." He breathed. "And that thing you've heard, it was nothing."

Hinata was confused, very confused. Her eyes shifted, it didn't know where to look until it focused on the face in front of her. "Why? Why are you telling me these things?"

"It's because you've said goodbye when for me, it isn't over yet. In fact it is just the beginning." His thoughts raced and went back to those familiar verses she has presented him.

_Sadly, my love for you is a tragedy…_

_Just please let me proceed to enjoy the false belief it is gonna be_

_Let me love you from afar where we'll both be free_

"I don't understand." Hinata shook her head still confused.

_Why can't you understand? _He frowned in exasperation. This discussion was taking him lots of things he do not wanted to reveal.

"You do not understand? You do not understand that kiss I've given you? You do not understand why I acted stupidly when you've mentioned your _boyfriend's_ name? You do not understand why I'm talking with you right now? You do not understand that I already like you?" His eyes widened in mixed emotions.

_So that's it. _Hinata wasn't expecting this, another revelation. He already likes her but she was still uncertain if she would believe him. He might be playing a new game. But if it was true, it's illegal and impossible. Remember, he was _up_ and she was _down_. She bowed her head and gently shook it yet saying nothing.

"You don't believe me?" His eyes showed curiosity and concern. "Do you find it impossible?"

She nodded.

"_Why?"_

"Can't you see? Those poems I'm addressing you, those gifts hopefully I've offered you and this secret I concealed for a long time are all due to the fact that we can't be together, as I have believed."

"Was it because we're cousins? Look, if—"

"NO!" She said firmly and now facing him with courage to answer his demands. "Yes, we're cousins but I really don't care that much because if I did, if long ago I already did, my feelings for you won't reach obsession." Her face was now marked with indignation.

"What then?" He was becoming desperate, an answer: one thing he needed badly.

"It's because I am not worthy for someone as… someone like you. The _great _Hyuuga Neji everyone in school knows. And me, the weakling Hyuuga Hinata who lies before the shadows of her great cousin, admiring him from afar."

Neji could not believe it. It was a hundred and one percent assurances that he affected her greatly not only emotionally but also psychologically and intellectually. "That's just it?"

Hinata looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"Why do you have to lower your self because of me?"

She was at loss for words. Her last explanation might not be an answer to him but she tried. "It's a way, a way not for me to expect because it only brings me pain."

"I see that you've expected for something and right away concluded that things are going to end differently than how you saw it, right?"

This time, fresh tears sprang from her eyes as Neji's words cut her skin deeply though not due to pain but because it was a certified fact. "Yes," She muttered.

Neji smiled at her then brushed away her tears. His finger caused a hot sensation beneath her white skin sending her brain some impulses with mixed electricity. She stared back at him as he spoke, "Well, it turned out that your conclusion of your expectation is false."

"False?" Hinata blinked as some tears fell down from her eyes again. Eyes which produced more than enough saline liquid a Hyuuga eye could generate.

He nodded as his finger left her cheek for his hand made its way to hold hers. "See that your expectations are coming real."

She smiled but it was wiped away quickly with a thought. "But,"

"But what?"

"We're cousins. It's… _incest._" Her eyes displayed a trace of concern and anxiety. "I don't care what people are going to say about me but what about you?"

She cares for him, he noted. Truly, she was perfect for him. The one he was waiting for. "Me? Don't mind me. We'll be able to push through, I know. Plus, the clan and the rest of the world need not know."

It's going to be an illegal love. _Hmm… _Is there anything more exciting than doing something illegal? Crossing lines has its own thrill. Fighting against everyone is _stimulating_. He believed that they would be able to push through and therefore, she should also be. She has faith in him. Everything was almost settled when _someone _crossed her mind: Gaara. Her thoughts halted as he invaded her head.

Neji noticed his cousin's sudden silence. As if reading her mind, he asked her. "Are you thinking of your _boyfriend_?" His tone and mood differed.

"Gaara is **not** my boyfriend. He's just my best friend." She snapped, gently taking her hand away from his light grasp. "But, he isn't in favor of my feelings for you."

He grimaced. "Not in favor? Then maybe, he's in love with you."

"In love… with me? Come on, we're friends. It couldn't be." She shook her head firmly but something inside her subconsciously whispers that it might be true. She shrugged it off.

"Possible."

This time, she grabbed his hand in a very shy feminine manner. "Forget it."

He smiled and held her hand firmly and squeezed it, his gesture speaking the message, _'I won't let you go.'_ For the second time, he kissed her. First, he stroked her indigo hair then his lips reached for her forehead planting a kiss. A kiss which meant all million words he wanted to tell her, a kiss which marked their new _warmer _relationship. "That is for everything that you have given me or I've caused you: gifts, poems, hardships, yearnings and love."

Hinata giggled a little with what she received. Her efforts paid off.

"Neji, tell me… tell me what I want to hear." She smiled and edged her self near him for a closer distance and bond.

He looked at her intently straight in the eye conveying his whole emotion to her. "I love you." He breathed and stroked lovingly her hair once more.

Now, it was Hinata who initiated another action, what else but a kiss? Her lips met his which made him gasp. The opening it made let her enter and soon it locked as a sign of their sealed relationship.

When it was done, Hinata leaned her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. Everything in the setting was perfect. The fountain, the place, the bench, the lights, the moon and them—the protagonists, which made up the perfect scene and story they were sharing in.

Tonight was a night, both of them would never forget. Tonight is the night which started it all. Tonight, their love was shown. Tonight they hoped would never last at all.

"This is a good subject for a next poem." Hinata said.

Neji looked at her and smiled knowingly. "And to whom would it be addressed?"

"As usual, it would be _addressed to you."

* * *

_

Wow! It was finally done. Thank you, thank you for reading my fic. Thank you for appreciating it. **Thank you very much!** I hope that you loved my fic and was able to tolerate its being too angst-y, drama-ful and at times crappy. Thank you. **I love you all!**

**Forgive my grammar. It's terrible, I know.**


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